She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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