It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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