And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
