Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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