with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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