I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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