So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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