so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
MIDGETS
????
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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