Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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