If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
