you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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