im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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