last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
