There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize