He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
