It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
