god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
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She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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