It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
