You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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