I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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