He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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