He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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