The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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