just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
