how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
