he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
