I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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