No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We need to get me chipped asap
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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