he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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