bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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