well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
