A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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