So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
