At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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