I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
