guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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