there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
