I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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