i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
this boner is exhausting
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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