I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
