After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
