Cold hands, warm shart.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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