did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
