In the future we'll all be gay
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
