dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
