the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
