She is in my trunk
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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