Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
