who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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