6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
