I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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