I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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