I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
