So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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