I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
