You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
