yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
