You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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