would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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