he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize