We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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